Tweets from North Korea

As the West is generally starved for news from the secretive hermit kingdom, I was thrilled to stumble upon North Korea’s Twitter feed! Under the handle DPRK_News, you can find such illustrative tweets as:

US Cable News Network reports racketeer president Barack Obama was born a slave in Indonesia.

DPRK life expectancy surpasses 90 years, while US president fails in ambition to pass health care law.

And my personal favorite,

Education Minister Kong Myun-Roh: Decadent parents of South teach children to play as “Zerg,” “Orks,” while DPRK children study Juche Idea!

Unfortunately, this appears to be a hoax, though you might not be able to tell the difference between this and the actual headlines coming from KCNA (North Korea’s official government-run news outlet):

Japanese Reactionaries’ Nuclear Hysteria Flailed

I should note that this latter Twitter feed is also unauthorized. The KCNA news account was set up to automatically syndicate news releases from the real DRPK news agency.

In a twitter conversation with Forbes, the author of the KCNA twitter feed admitted that he or she was a writer and Web master for the German-language parody site Stupidedia, based in Austria. “KCNA has unintentionally funny articles, and I thought it would be funny if an antiquated regime like North Korea had a Twitter account,” wrote the faux-Communist, who didn’t respond to requests for his or her name.

Bullet Proof abs

It may be a staple of lunch conversation that when abdominal trauma is mentioned, I reference the episode of Kung Fu: the Legend Continues (a trashy spinoff that I, regrettably, once watched) where a monk after building up immense abdominal muscles, is able to deflect first spears and then eventually bullets.

Over the weekend, a news story surfaced of a woman surviving a paragliding accident. According to the article, when she landed on her stomach, her organs were protected by her rock hard abs. Once again, I have learned important truths from Hollywood.

“Don’t mess with marching band girls”

MSNBC ran this story on a marching band girl beating up her attackers.

“The moral to this story is don’t mess with the marching band girls, or you just might get what you deserve,” said Los Angeles County sheriff’s Deputy Michael Rust.

It makes me think Buffy’s final wish may have come true.