If ye be yearning for the return of Talk Like Shakespeare Day, there be good tidings from the intersection of Elizabethan English and contemporary events.
In a most excellent three-act drama by the staff of the Boston Globe, the tale of Gates-gate and its eventual resolution through the aid of King Barack and some good ales unfolds. Tis certainly a worthy read in its entirety, but for the laggards among us, here’s a taste:
BARACK: Stupid sheriffs arrest many Moors.
AXELROD: Perhaps in the Chicagoland of our youthful acquaintance, my lord. Not so many in Cambridgeham. ’Tis a most gentil and parfit place.
BARACK: Who is the man, and what is his crime?
AXELROD: ’Tis the Most Exalted University tutor Gates. Back has he spoken to the Sheriff, unbidden.
BARACK: Gates? I know this man. We have supped together on the enchanted Isle of Martha’s Vineland. I have seen him with Lady Oprah, prating about his ancestry.
AXELROD: Perhaps a photo op, my lord? We invite Gates and the Sheriff here, quaff ale in the summer heat, and proclaim peace and brotherhood among all men.
BARACK: And savor tobacco from the Duke of Marlboro?
AXELROD: Not with the people watching, sire.
[ A Tale Told by an Idiot / Boston Globe ]